I’m pretty sure the Supreme Court’s landmark decision in In re: Get These Hands upheld this as totally constitutional.

I want you to know that you are a fucking degenerate.

It doesn’t make sense in the context of bankruptcy, either.

Counterpoint: I prefer my diabetes in wedge form, and this nerd deserves to be shoved into a locker.

To clarify, these are individuals who strangles babies, and not babies who commit strangulation?

Is this the next Marvel crossover film?

What? No...

“I hope nothing unsavory happens during my visit. As you know, I am the President of the United States.”

How else is he going to drop another 70-point game if they start doubling?

No, no, it’s clearly a conditioning tactic and totally not “I want this pickup game to be a glorified shootaround so I don’t have to break a sweat.”

Dwight’s greatest contribution as a Laker might have been this gif:

What? These are all practically the same person:

How does this affect his WAR?

You’ve been looking in the wrong place, my friend.

Or, giant cataracts.

If I was an NBA free agent, I’d have that clause specifically negotiated into my contract, regardless of which team I signed with.

Excuse me, that’s the music of JD & The Straight Shot.