That’s just the Corporate America they’re scared of. God knows it has been responsible for waaay more evil than anyone wearing a pentagram ever has.

I’ve been dying to post this pic, so I’m just going to go for it with the only tie in I can think of.

“I’m sorry, Liz, but we’re gonna have to let you go.”

Seriously if she can somehow have hundreds of people assassinated and not get caught, uh, I’m going to vote for Black Widow then, thanks.

Thinking that Hillary Clinton flies around the world in an invisible jet murdering people kind of makes me want to vote for her even more than I already do.

The irony here is so delicious this post could almost be considered Foodspin.

This may doxx me...

Of all the public places to poo, a cornfield is the most appropriate.

Story 1: So, let me offer the following backstory: I’m lactose intolerant. That’s it, that’s the whole backstory.

It was at the EIFFEL FUCKING TOWER.

I studied abroad in Tours, France during the summer of 2009. This was like a mini study abroad—only a month—but we did homestays and I befriended a group of girls on the trip who were advanced French majors and made some local friends through them, so my French improved a lot.

You know that scene in Caddyshack scene where there’s poop in the pool but then they drain the whole thing and it’s a candy bar?

I have IBS. It was finally diagnosed my last year of high school. (Fun fact, my parents didn’t believe that I’d stopped pooping until I ended up getting an MRI for abdominal pain. My surgeon father saw the scans and went, “I can’t believe you had such an expensive test to tell me something I already knew: that you’re…

my dad is a big jerk. my mom was taking her engineering exam thing (PE exam or something???) and it was in SF. he drove her. as it was at 8am, and traffic into SF is hellish, they had to leave very early and loaded up the kids in the back of the car, seats down, blankets and pillows piled it. it was sort of fun. so…

I’m a person with chronic nausea and diarrhea. I’m of the age where I can just be out alone, or with my dude, and pop into any building and say I’M SO SORRY I JUST FOUND OUT IM PREGNANT AND I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.

I have no memory of this, my mother told the story at my grandfather’s wake to our assembled relatives as a ‘remember the time Tammster...’ story. Anyhow, apparently as a small child - toddler small - she used to take me a playgroup. There was an older child, although still smallish, who would regularly just walk up…

ALL OF MY GOOD STORIES ARE ABOUT VOMITING

I get migraines that are often accompanied by intense vomiting and sometimes fainting. For this reason my doctor has told me to stay at home laying down in the recovery position when I get them so I don’t pass out, vomit, and die. Well I don’t do that really because it would mean I’d have no life. So one day I wake up…

When I was four, I was on a whale watching trip with my parents. My mom was sitting between my dad and me. The swaying made me projectile vomit as I turned to say something to my mom. She ducked, and it hit my dad right in the face.

I CAN’T IT WILL DOXX ME AND IT HURTS