Seasonal allergies were created by the government in the 60s to attack hippies, the so-called ‘flower children’

listen, let’s not let the wacko conspiracy theories overshadow Hillary’s actual health problems. i have extensive experience in this area and there is literally no issue more debilitating than seasonal allergies. what if her hands are covered in mucus and she hits the “bomb the earth” button by accident? what if she’s…

Sentient pile of burnt hair Ann Coulter.

I wouldn’t call her a cunt, she lacks the warmth and the depth.

I’m physically disabled - whenever I see or hear disability being used as a slur, it’s a gut punch. When what you are is considered the biggest insult you can throw at another person and it’s used so regularly so casually, you are made very aware of your position as a second class citizen. I know that a lot of common…

Ok you know what, I can count the number of people on one hand that I’ve ever called a cunt in my entire life, it’s not a word I use lightly.

he was doing a standard retard, waving his arms and sounding stupid

Before you were born an ugly, warted old woman sat by the side of the road and asked for help changing a tire. Your parents stopped and changed it for the old woman, kindly. Then, before their very eyes-the old woman began to transform into the most beautiful fairy princess they had ever seen!

“He self-published a book of poetry called Eskimo Papoose that was full of plagiarized Tori Amos lyrics.” This sentence is so wonderful. It’s like the most amazing Mad Libs ever.

He self-published a book of poetry called Eskimo Papoose that was full of plagiarized Tori Amos lyrics.

And now I am imagining a library run like a movie police precinct.

As long as they make the men wear the same thing, I’m good with it.

This is the kind of heroism that literally every single American CEO should be capable of:

That’s some good leadership.

I know, I didn’t think I’d live to see it. I thought this was just another stepping stone on our way to an American dystopia.

A bronzed god with silver hair issues forth a golden shower.

Not the idiot we want, but the idiot we deserve.

Well, Lochte might not be a good representative of America, but at least he’s an accurate one.