I got my daughter a huge box set of Roald Dahl books last Christmas, and we read through them twice this year. I think BFG, The Twits, and Danny the Champion of the World were my absolute favorites from childhood, and they were equally fun to read to her.

This is what drives me crazy. Because LYING OFFICER WE HAVE THE VIDEO- you did not yell anything, much less yell it three times. We can see exactly what happened.

Also remember to check if your employer does matching donations. My large multinational Corp. has PP as one of the designated charities that it will match donations to. Plus they have reoccurring giving out of my paycheck, so every time I'm paid I give money and my company matches it. I'm able do instantly double my…

That boy is wise.

Truly, that quote is one of the most valuable things to come out of MoGlo’s tenure at Jez. I find situations to use it in constantly.

OMG that was magical. I was CACKLING with laughter at all the pictures of these. I mean, I saw the ad and thought, “huh, those look just like burrs.” Saw the headline and was like OH GOD YES I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A BURR OUT OF PLASTIC???? It’s like the toy company has never met…

You made me snort at my desk. Now everyone knows I'm not working. DAMN YOU RANDYLYN!

I'm at work so I can't watch the video, but that screenshot is eeeeeevverything. This woman is my hero today. Her Hijab tells you she will take none of your nonsense.

Both of these ladies are giving me life this morning.

OH MAN. That is hilarious.

AHHAHAHAHA Oh those precious baby snowflakes! That Powerpoint is horrible.

YOU HAVE KILLED ME I AM A GHOST POSTING NOW. That is a super dapper fellow!

THERE IS SHAMPOO THAT MAKES YOUR HAIR FALL OUT? This seems like...a poorly thought out product. Reminds me of the time my friend’s dad accidentally used Nair in the shower instead of shampoo. Thankfully, he realized very quickly as it smelled horrible and felt burny. Still had a hilarious bald patch for a bit.

OMG elementary school flirting is so weird. There was a boy who chased me and pulled my hair. He got in trouble, but I was still afronted. So in my rage, I marched up to him when he was just sitting there minding his own business and I grabbed a big handful of his stupid blonde hair and YANKED. Right in front of the…

THE NEW WIGS HAHAHAHAHAHA perfect.

I was afraid Trump would somehow be too sensible to do the third party thing at this point, but this bonkers speech renews my faith that he will bring down the GOP voting bloc in 2016. From your post to Vishnu's ears.

“This post has been updated to reflect that Donald Trump has “so many” Jewish friends, who are “really great” friends. We previously quoted him as saying “a lot of” Jews are his friends, and they are “such good” friends, which did not correctly quote him and also inaccurately conveyed the number and amity of the Jews…

OH MY GAWD. Yeah, that is no way to live.

EVERYTHING IS COMING UP MISSY! Seriously, this is errrrrrrything I wanted from a new Missy track- thumping beats, awesome dancing, crazy creative costuming. Oh, and FUCKING MARIONETTES that dance better than I do. I would like to have that mirror ball outfit she wears at the beginning please and thank you. WELCOME…

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS THIS IS ACCURATE!