This is a really great article (and thank you for keeping hachi machi alive!), but I would quibble with this one point:

Competition makes teams better in the long run, even if it costs them in the short term. If the U.S. had to fight through South America every four years just to get to the Cup, we’d have to develop a side capable of doing that. No more coasting through the Caribbean and shrugging off WC exits — the quality of the team…

Super down with this. TBH as soon as I posted I started thinking about what the Rockets would look like in NBA Jam and absolutely Harden should be able to stand still and draw contact on anything other than perfect defense from the other player while Paul runs around uselessly while his defender waits to break.

The Lakers might have assembled one of the great NBA Jam teams in league history

This was the tell that it was 1998 and not 2018; the Brads of the world have since changed their position on this subject.

It would also make for great World Cup qualification as well, 8 spots total across both continents.

Aside from Suarez and Neymar, who’s ever played well next to Messi? I think it’s more damning than fair to say the rest of his teammates “forget” how to play when they’re slotted alongside him. Unlike the author, I don’t think the cursed magical shirt is the problem with their play.

Yes, imagine a superior team playing keepaway for 50 minutes to demonstrate their dominance? Completely inconceivable. It’d barely resemble soccer, it’d look more like....I don’t know, bullfighting or something. The crowd would probably start chanting “Olé!” in mockery every time another pass would made — that is, if…

I’m surprised the U.S. players haven’t responded to the criticism by just saying the same thing louder and slower.

Why would Grealish spend years shunning Premier League offers to stick with his hometown club in the Championship and then jump ship the second they were promoted? He’s not going anywhere.

The Man Units

I agree man, Lakers are a disgrace.

being in New Orleans is like being in Hartford.

When Rudy Gay is your most reliable player....

Oh hell yes! On hot days and/or at terribly stocked open bars, red wine and cola rules, I’m even more sold.

Why would we call Pop Gabe? His name is Gregg.

Guy here who watches way more Pac-12 football than doctors generally consider safe for one’s health — Darnold is a fraud who got drafted solely on his height and the name of his school. Rosen’s more of a wildcard (and could easily turn into Alex Smith or Ryan Fitzpatrick, in terms of consistency), but if you want to…

This sounds absolutely disgusting and I cannot wait to try it.

I took care of myself in my 20s but have spent my 30s raging, very excited to see when my body finally falls off the cliff.

One Finals appearance, zero titles.