“You sayin’ there’s a room available?”  - J. Tomsula

Adam Gase’s beard is the male coach’s equivalent of the Elizabeth Holmes voice, right? 

Yeah, sure, but also fuck the Yankees. 

Looks like Peterson finally learned not to go for the switch.

Yeah but Watson just has the natural born ability to read a defense. That’s god-given.

Sir, this is a McDonald's drive through.

He wonders why McQueary remembers the campus as being deserted on the night he says he witnessed the assault (Feb. 9, 2001), even though there was a hockey game and a Barenaked Ladies concert on campus that night.

The idea that shit-talking a candidate during a primary harms them in the general was probably never very true, and most assuredly isn’t true at all now. The overwhelming majority of people in this country know who they will vote for next November based solely on the letter by their name. Modern American elections are…

Perfect, and he already owns property there.

Like most people, they criticize in others what they secretly despise about themselves, you fat asshole. 

Oh for fucks sake. I was going to just save all of my frustration to unleash on today’s Why Your Team Sucks (Bears) and then move on with my fucking life. Had a little plan to get some work done, think of a few things that have been gnawing at my soul since that fucking missed kick and then welcome all the “haha go…

They’re not making a sign with a dead bird, idiot!

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

Honestly the best bar stool sports content I’ve ever seen. 

this man is a national treasure

I think a “chunkier Reese Witherspoon” is called a Reese’s Witherspoon.

These owners really need to stick to sports.

James Dolan was born on third, meandered back to second and yelled “TOUCHDOWN!”

I don’t know, the male lions stay home and sleep all day, while the female lions do all the hunting, sound like USA soccer to me.