He owes it to himself to not tear an ACL dunking on a 5’8” future CPA.

In all seriousness, why in the fuck is the QB on the national champions and potential first overall pick in the 2021 NFL Draft playing intramural anything?

We went to a class for our first one, and they went around the room asking each couple about their birth plan. Most of them were “We’re going to try to go natural” with a few “We’re using a midwife in home and going natural”.

Folks about to have kids are so adorable. In addition to the birth plan (“hey doc & nurses, I know you’ve delivered hundreds of babies, but here’s how me & my wife want things to go based on our internet research”) bet Brandon and his wife have discussed how Junior can have a pacifier, but only until 3 months, how the…

Mark Wahlberg and I have one thing in common... we both wish he would have been on that plane on 9/11.

“Tell ‘em I ain’t doing no unguarantees, I ain’t even gonna play myself no more” — Antonio Brown

Whatever you think of his take, you have to acknowledge that Bill Simmons’s history definitely gives him a position to criticize a person for trying to lure talent away from another organization to join his own.

I once spotted a couple of young barn owls looking out the top hatch of an unused silo, 30 feet up. I was 100 feet from the silo, pointing a flashlight at them, casually saying to my dad, “Look at the baby owls! I wonder where their mom is?” As soon as I said this, the flashlight beam was filled with a huge white…

“Don’t worry about Korean missile, Donald- they fall in ocean, not reach US of A. Very poorly made, unlike Russian missile...”

In other news, the burrito place didn’t put extra chips in the bag like they usually do. A hungry nation demands answers!

This is exactly what I imagine when I picture who voted for Scott Walker and Donald Trump.

maybe they only let the tall ones fuck and the little ones get put in the soup

It’s Wisconsin. That something in the water is beer-cheese soup.

I wish my kids looked at me the way Thomas's does after being out of work for 11 months

Because when I think “better serve the fans”, I think of taking away something free and making them pay for it instead.

Dead? No, he’s not dead. See?

Counterpoint: this is better than literally anything else he would potentially otherwise be doing. Let’s just load Pebble Beach and see him in two years.

We had a kid on my son’s basketball team that did that. If he touched the ball, it was a turnover. We lost every single game. His dad had to be restrained from the ref (by me) at one point because he was trying to fight him over a lack of foul calling. My son was 10 at the time. I guess what I’m trying to say is that…

So I’m not shocked at all that the response doesn’t include any real denial of Page’s criticism.