Updated: Donald Sterling Demands Full Refund Of Crystal Palace Purchase, Claims Team "Got Uppity" With Him

Breaking News: Donald Sterling Buys Crystal Palace

You're a real stickler for doo-tails, aren't you?

"...Nor Questions."

"No, officer, it's totally cool. This guy on the internet told me I could do this."

There are times when I hate being a mid-30s father and homeowner in a respectable neighborhood for NO OTHER REASON than I can't sneak around with a couple of Mickey's 40ozs in a backpack like the borderline disastrous mobile party that high school was...

My about-to-be-brother-in-law showed up with a couple 30 packs of Special Export Light to my bachelor party (a shitty rented cabin on a shitty lake with a shitty rented pontoon boat) and I swear to god, the longer the days wore on drinking "real beers", the more amazingly rejuvenating those things somehow seemed. It…

Busch Light is a great beer to drink about 15 of while you are fishing. Something about worms, dirt and walleye slime seem to go really well with it. I wish I was kidding.

1% chance: an astute "Kinja user" you mention will elaborate on the discipline policies of the NBA in a calm and even handed manner

Your wit, and subsequent commitment, are fantastic. It's borderline manic, what with the whole "semi-trolling people into an indignant response and then continuing to beat every single one of them about the head with their own overwrought indignance" thing, but the dedication is wonderful and I am envious of your…

I hope it has 2 bathrooms, because if it doesn't, Hank's going to get pretty tired of cleaning up after Carlos Gomez.

Team Handball.

So this one happens to be the top (location-wise...) post, but a bunch of the other ones are along the same line. Who are these people getting all pissed off about a semi-serious food column on a fucking sports website whose "greatest hits" are largely athlete dong photos? By this point, you know the Foodspin shtick-…

While I agree approximately 1000% with the sentiment here, I would reserve an exception (as you get close to, referencing final four event-type sports bar visits) for communal events with local significance. I know full good and well that every TV in my home state of Wisconsin will be on the UW game tonight (except…

Fun fact- Lumpkin is a very common name in the piedmont region of upstate South Carolina, I believe. A scientific poll conducted by me (methodology: guessing wildly at things) shows that more than 80% of male Lumpkins are nicknamed "Lump."

Some completely unnecessary local commentary, I recognize, but I was at the game yesterday and Hank's pregame intro (which was a fantastic exercise in over-the-top pandering, set to "Who Let The Dogs Out") received an ovation that was only slightly less enthusiastic than the one given to Ryan Braun. Braun's reception…

+1 box

That always confused me too, but think of it like this: the moneyline simply establishes how greatly you are rewarded on a $100 bet for picking an underdog (risk $100, get $150, for instance) versus how much you have to put up to win $100 (risk $150, get $100, in this case) on a favorite.

C'mon, guys- for someone to "pull out" they actually have to "put it in," and you know that "it" never really got "put in" Emmanuelle- she was just a REALLY GOOD actress.