Man, they can make robots do incredible shit these days.

The rear hatch of a minivan. Firstly because it's got the hydraulics to at least try to keep it from slamming too hard. Second because you might luck out and get one of those "auto-closing" ones which may hopefully notice someone in the way and save my rod. And thirdly because owning a minivan would be like slamming…

Old military guy waxes poetic about the cold-war days, thinks all this "new fangled technology" can never be as good as the good old gear we used to fly, and supports McCain. I'm also going to assume Tom Clancy fetishist and Corvette owner.

You missed item #1: Chrome.

I saw the headline on Twitter and I was all excited and then I clicked and am all "oh, Bud Light. Nevermind."

Yes but what city tweets #wakeandbake the most?

Yes but ONLY WITH CONSENT.

Fuck the police.

I didn't know Deadspin had an audience over 80 that would watch these sorts of things. I'm suddenly surprised there aren't more ads for TV trays and mobility scooters on the site.

Right now, all of you pretend you're Brendan Rogers, manager of Liverpool, and consider this situation. Your team, which just came 2nd in the past season, has arguably one of the top five players in the world who, in said season, was the top goalscorer in spite of being out for ten matches. You have him locked up in a…

Recovering really well. So well, we can't use him at all.

WD-40 and a croquet mallet should do the job.

Star Citizen hit $47mil in funding this morning. Imagine if they suddenly need to change engines now that they've released something.

Brazil, no question. I'd totally expected them to walk away with it, but after not being able to score against Mexico and needing several iffy-at-best calls against Croatia to get going, I don't know. They'll still probably exit the group at the top but they're not looking like the inevitable victors anymore.