To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

And even Bryce Harper could probably walk down Fifth Avenue on a busy afternoon and might escape unrecognized, and he’s probably the most recognizable active baseball player who doesn’t play for the Yankees.

This is simply prolonging the MLS’s credibility problem. They’re still paying a fortune for the table scraps of the European leagues. Until they can actually develop talent at home and bring it up through the ranks, the rest of the world will continue to laugh at it. It’s the football equivalent of the part time job…

What do the Irish know about drinking anyway?

“C’mon. C’mon. This is not ever actually going to happen. You know it isn’t!”

Nice thing about liking Yanited is you’ll always have a fresh pool of fairweather fans to meet.

Narrator: It was not a consolation

AND it was a catch.

It’s not all bad news, however. Arsenal has just signed a contract to fight Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

I know this seems counter-intuitive because it is a complex game with a ton going on and a crowd of people, but I always recommend craps as a go-to casino game for the following reasons:

As a Gunners supporter, I’m not all that miffed about Wenger.

This is the Ferrari Lusso that I want:

Was there a car article in there somewhere????

Not the hero America needs, but the hero America deserves.

Economically baseball has to be the hardest. But definitely not impossible and potentially most interesting.

The Fort Wayne TinCaps in the World Series would be fucking hilarious.

Relegation is a wonderful part of soccer, where there is as much intrigue and excitement at the bottom of the standings as there are at the very top, but it could never work in today’s American sports. An owner who just spent $2 billion for a team would never risk that investment languishing in the minor leagues for…

The sport where there’s definitely enough talent to make it work is basketball (think about how many very good college players never get a sniff of the NBA because of how small the rosters are). But it’s not really something you could retcon at this point.

Can’t. Soccer and it’s relegation practices have been in place forever. US owners would never ever ever ever ever threaten their pocketbooks.