So, it sounds like your argument really applies to only those in your situation - a situation which, I think, is unique.

You sound like a homeowner who, through your post, is working overtime to justify your purchase.

Or calling AT&T customer service representatives (?)

Am I weird/illiterate/uneducated for having no idea what that means?

Perfection!! (I have to wonder if the people who need to read this stuff read this stuff.)

Perfection.

Thank you! Overdosing on prescription ibuprofen.

LOL well fucking shucks.

oh cool!

Perfect. If Mr. Donuts and I ever marry, I want a potluck. With paper dishes. Because I. Give. Zero. Fucks.

I worry, sometimes, that I’m sociopathic. I read something like this and cannot manage to drum up a single sympathetic emotion. In fact, sometimes I think “good.”

I feel badly for women who feel like that’s normal.

I’ve told Mr. Likes Donuts, should he ever want a big party for any milestone, he will need to plan it and send me the invitation. This goes for weddings, showers, and whatever the fuck else.

Oddly, I feel a sense of hope emerging from the depths of my dark soul.

We need more of these stories, and less of the “I went with XYZ because that’s what my family wanted and I feel inclined to cater to their every opinionated whim.”

Why are these perfect? Except for the comm major one - come on, man I was a freakin comm major!

Ha. That one gave me a good chuckle as well.

You are an adult, with a right to adulthood.

So Gawkers readers would be cool if a men’s magazine started a “fantasy” series about guys wanting to fuck their step sister? Or 40 year old men banging 18 year olds?