Nihilist Arby’s.

Well, at least we’ll all get blown.

Not soon enough.

When is the meteorite coming

Okay, but this is a Samsung.

Yep. A story about Pluto belongs in a celebrity gossip feature called Dirt Bag.

FOR REAL???

How can you hate cookies? Even Sten liked cookies and he hates everything.

Kumail always knows what’s up.

you can hide a lot of lies in a GIANT TURTLENECK

“It hit my wife and knocked her over, and punched my daughter,” Dirk Frickman recalled.”

I’ll marry you. I’m already fat though.

I envy your life

I tend to dislike any game with a driving mode purely because they almost always shoehorn on timed races along a track. At least it isn’t a boat or plane race.

I was impressed until I read the words “Pete Wentz”

I went on two dates from two of the articles stated apps. One kissed me (was a little uncomfortable with) and then asked if he could show me his dick (no joke. on the first day he was like “Can I show you my dick?” to which I was like “WHAT WHY!? It aint some disco stick I’ll want to hop on from sheer beauty.”). And…

...aaaaaand bought the domain.

I would settle for one that screened for grammar and spelling.