That’s called morning dew, right? Not to be confused with Mountain Dew.

This should be a thing. Like companies can build special fuck siesta rooms adjacent to the lunchroom with sound proofing.

I looked online (Match) for 3 months and was like, “fuck this, I’ll just buy an expensive vibrator.” It was exhausting and disappointing.

Like it’s always “fine” with me too, unless I have diarrhea or something

Rachael.... frequently misspelled Racheal. People usually just leave out the extra A, but my parents know it is there.

Yeah, the two individuals that named and created me, routinely spell my name wrong.

Gonna give my gray tabby an extra squeeze, even if he's a he.

Ugh, I need to get a trim, but the stylist I was using moved and I hate finding a new one. My hair is my Precious.

Every day I tell myself, “I’ll wash my dishes before bed so I don’t end up with a nasty pile at the end of the week”... and every week I have the nasty pile.

His butt looks kinda flat in the video, but I would probably still bang. Flat buns are kinda McD’s thing, right?

*runs to parking garage and kisses car* Forever thankful that I am in the situation/city where I don’t have any need for Uber, which just became legal to operate here!

I adopted a kitten that came up from an overcrowded California last year. He’s the sweetest little asshole. Send me more babies and I take them all and just be crazy cat lady to the max!

He was kind of a “fuck up” character on The Wire too, though he had his good moments.

Carver from The Wire is having a hard time.

I enjoyed every Silent Hill game, but the history of the first three games was what really got me... as well as the psychological terror it induced. Sure there were a few jump scares, but the thought of being tormented by monsters derived from your own inner demons was even more terrifying.

Yep, I found one in the apartment I just moved into and it is a god-sense for my old gas oven!

This is my tail-end of life dream. Just taking all the money I never spent on my own kids and throwing it at tiny goats and shit.

9. A pizza stone. I don’t know why this offends me so much, but it does. I hate pizza stones with a fiery passion, probably because I don’t know how to use one.

Clitbait indeed..... Tom.... please......

This would be about my reaction, but just replace the glass with the TV.