This is the most important post.... now I just need to start saving travel money and find a travel pal.

I’m jealous of his sheets, they look nice…. I already have 4 asshat cute cats that don’t let me make the bed, so I’m not jealous of the cute cats.

I have not met a doppelganger and now I kinda want to, just to see what kind dude game she’s got going for her as I am too weird to find a dude.

Her head looks Photoshopped on. There’s just something wonky about the angle of her face versus the angle of her neck.

Damn, now I feel bad about just shoving them in the dresser next to my bed. I need a nice dildo case.

I have these a lot too, always following one of several patterns:

It's rechargeable, so I don't have to worry about batteries, and it also has a lock so it doesn't go off randomly, because that totally happened once when I was moving and my best male friend was helping me move.

• Dragon Age: Inquisition - Wait what. - Banana

My cats would lose their minds if I came in wearing this.

Makes me feel a little better about buying a $200 dildo while being extremely broke. Thanks historical pervert!!!

The Simba tattoo is a little too weird for my tastes...I’ve slept with some dudes with some weird tattoos (a stick figure ninja, why? You are SUPER Canadian, bro) but otherwise, he is a fine looking man.

Got Frosty too. I don’t have a cool hat, but I have nice hair.

Yeah Jeets is my favorite thing ever. Sadly none of my athlete conquests were good enough to make the majors.

This is supremely fucked up, and now I also have a craving for miso soup. Fuck you Walmart!

Same. Plus the crust is pretty much its own plate, so you don’t have to do dishes.

Hey, if it helps my babies feel better, I don’t care if they are trippin’ balls or not.

Are they the only celebrity couple with a reality show to have not gotten divorced after? Someone really needs to run the stats.

“Give me the fur. Give me the fur.”

I'm a vegetarian, but that looks damn good. Also, hi Cullen!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know who half these people are....I guess fetch me my bowl of soup that was been cooled with ice cubes, I'm going to take a sit-down shower.