New Daario is FINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE.

“I can’t do lunch today, I’ve gotta go to the soul hole doctor.”..... sounds good.

If I was the teacher, I’d just write a giant NOOOOO across it in red pen.

His eyes pierce right into my soul (I call my vagina my soul).

Well, Kit, if you happened to also see my offer about a hockey game, it’s still on the table. I can get us free tickets, I know people.

Yeah, I have a fairly large studio apartment, and I have to stop halfway to empty out the bin. My tabby, that is the worst shedder of the group is the only one that hates being combed. He hides like he is being punished. And I am the go to person at work with the lint roller. Such is my life!

The older ladies at my gym gave no fucks. One was blow drying her beav with the gym blowdryer. Another walked up to me, full on naked, dripping from the shower as I was getting ready to leave and asked if I had some conditioner she could borrow.

I don’t understand how someone can lose that much hair in one shower, unless they are just ripping it out. I once saw a two-fer, huge clump of hair and a discarded bloody tampon. I just noped to another stall.

My apartment flooring is a mix of my hair and my cat's hair. Probably a good reason why I am single.

What are you trying to imply Good Humor.... that I have to be single to eat this.... well shut up, I am!

The quotes from yesterday’s Midweek Madness made him sound pretty douchey, but it made a nice cross-stitch. I’d still keep him as a side piece probably.

I’m going to nod disapprovingly at his face, check out his body, and then go hate listen to the song of his that I kinda like that plays on the radio.

Unhappy to see my assumption that Scott Eastwood is a hot douche play out correctly. So much wasted hotness. I mean, what else to you talk about with the “chick” you are “casually” dating?

Maybe that is why she is being carried all the time? Too many headaches from too high of hair. I can barely do a mid-head ponytail for half a day without my head feeling like it is going to explode.

This is the on the first page of the first result of the Google search “Maya Angelou quotes.” Willing to bet that some dipshit was just like “eh, good enough, don’t need to source it.”

Yeah, when people grill me about stats or some crap like that, I say “I work 60 hours a week on a regular basis, I don’t have time to memorize stats, asshat.”

I work in sports and it is a shit show, and this is coming from someone with a perverted, garbage personality.

The first time I ever saw the Belmont goats, I almost crashed my car.

That last gif is a #lifegoal

I watched the Dateline or whatever was before this about the rich asshole who murdered his mom and brother/nephew and once the Bible stuff came on, changed it to some new channel that apparently runs reality crime shows from ten years ago all day. Best Easter ever!