What an accomplishment to brag about on your car....everyday! *eyerolls so hard my eyeballs fall out onto the floor and I comically kick them away trying to grab them*

I saw someone who had snagged the much coveted RULDS2 Utah license plate and it took me a second top figure it out. I was like "Who the fucks is Rulds and why are there two of them?"

If the omni-tool had some glow to it, this could be an in game cinematic screencap.

Anyone else have issues with breaking out after wearing lipstick? The ones on the corner of your mouth are the WORST, and it keeps me from wearing it more often.

Proud member of the No Game Club as well. *fistbump* or whatever gameless people do.

Same. Pissing Contest needs to happen 4PM PST at the latest. I've scrolled through the same 2 Tumblr pages for an hour.

I couldn't see it as anything other than blue/black at work (harsh fluorescent lighting) but at home (dark basement) it first appeared white and gold and when I blinked it would turn black and blue again. Crazy weird.

Jesus, just buy a whole stable of those Real Doll dudes and customize them with all kinds of crazy dicks. You'd be getting as much affection from them as this fake dude.

Need that cape for after-work brooding/fabulousness.

Anything pickle-related is generally grounds for some quality toilet time. I love getting the whole pickles to eat with popcorn at the movies....and I usually miss about 15 minutes of them.

Grade: D- (sharting while saying your marriage vows)

And the wind, the damn wind blowing rain into your face. Maybe it is just the area I live in, but the wind is the worst.

I would totally apply, but I know I would be rejected because of my pooping issues :(

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Team Cheese Fries?

I developed perpetual-bitchiness syndrome from my early 20's, when I had long Victoria's Secret Hair and early 20's perky boobs and got bothered all the time just for having conversations with guys. It's really hurting me now trying to meet dudes in my early 30's with these old 30's boobs and bags under my eyes. :(

I had to take liking golf off my profile because so many dudes were like, "hey we both like to play golf, let's bone."

My broken PS3 controller tells me I need this.

Yeah, let me know if it comes together.

It's fairly mild up here in Portland, but I live in a basement, so I usually have space heater on when I am home. Here's my cat hanging himself off my leg so he can get hit by the sweet heat.