Yeah, I was on board until that. I'd end up jumping in the freezing sea.

I can't recall if anyone clearly said no and running off Jerry Springer-style, there were a few who were very unemotional, possible no's. And one guy broke up with his girlfriend shortly before and had to call us and let us know to cancel the whole thing.

I applaud you for sticking to your child-free guns (that sounds weird, but like..safe?) I get told all the time that I'll change my mind about kids someday and I'm like "nah. One weekend with my nieces and nephews is about all I can manage.

I work for a sports team and they are just as awkward for us to do, like having a cutaway contingency plan if things go awry or emergency number if you want to call it off at the last minute.

I'd get bored......It's really fun.

I was once mistaken for a prostitute while playing slots in Vegas. I blame the over the knee boots, I was wearing, but they were brown FFS!

Sorry Levi's, I am team #StretchyPants all the way. Maybe if you didn't show my entire asscrack when I bend down....

Actual photo of the scorpion in question before it got squished.

Well, looks like they can burn that new carpet they just put down at PDX. BURN IT ALL!

Great, now I want to see a scorpion in a tiny knit cap and glasses.

Reading, bag on lap and not on seat next to him, beard, floppy hair.....just erect the levy around my vagina.

I kinda need that mask....for reasons...

Someone called our hockey office wanting to propose on Valentine's at our game. We politely refused.

Re: Annie Lennox and wanking....

I was just venting about this yesterday. I have pretty much the same complexion, eye color, and hair color as Uma and when I go out without mascara, people ask if I am sick/tired. I have decent lashes, but their lovely blonde color blends pretty much into my eyelids. The eyebrows are pretty much the same story as well.

Yep, when I had to wake up extra early for my college classes/rush hour commute I didn't wear makeup and my teachers were very concerned I had some lingering illness. But when I skipped class, I could use that as an excuse!

COCK... PUSSY.... BALLS....DANGLING ANAL BEADS

Yeah, it really bothers me that he's the "guy who had sex with a dolphin" and not "guy who abused a dolphin"

Okay, it was more uncomfortable than painful, the worst was finding out that I have one of the two strains of HPV that are more aggressive (god damnit I was so good about using condoms) so hopefully my biopsies come back in the better range.

We get Papa John's delivered to my work about once a week. It is the best and worst because it's free, but terrible.