I bought a crepe griddle because my shitty electric stove kept fucking up my crepes. I've used it once :(

How does one "be more careful" from entitled, irrational men who will cut your throat at the slightest blow to their fragile, child-like egos? Giant, slash-proof choker necklaces? That could be a new fashion statement!

I'm just imagining the artists looked down at their own bits and said "that looks about right" and didn't want to sculpt/paint them bigger than their own?

I hope to god this was self published...

I'd like to do lots of pretend sex with Patrick Wilson. His ass in Watchmen still torments my dreams.

At least two more, probably three to finish up the main part and then I'll be adding to it over the years with significant life events.

I waited two months for a consult and another 3 for my first appointment with my artist. I just got started a huge back piece, so I'm definitely going broke with this one!

Oooo poor little guy, but in all honesty, if this was a little kid, I probably would've laughed. I'm an asshole.

I got stung recently while I was moving. There is a lovely nest right by my new apartment. I was just walking by and the motherfucker stung me. Pieces of shit!

Ugh, those look so good. I need candy now.

Why did I just read a story about how the mortality rate of baby cheetahs in the wild is 95%? I'm going to be crying forever.

I must have them all!!!

Uggggh he is so gross... it's sad how happy I was when he was killed in American Horror Story Asylum.

YES! I've had a think for guys named Oliver after reading that book.

My cats will sleep in their carriers if I leave them down, but the second they get in the car, it is poop city. Jerks.

I'm of the classic erotica faction; Nin, Miller, Lawrence. It's not super perverse (Miller does sometimes) but it is well written. I've read some Sade too, but that guy liked butt stuff too much.

I just gotta say, guy boating alone is terribly irresponsible. Isn't that one of those activities you generally don't wanna do alone, like swimming or hiking? But who needs safety when you've got BONERS!!!

Ugh, I remember the endometriosis shits. (I've since had a partial hysterectomy) Every month I had one guaranteed day I would have to stay home glued to the toilet.

Pickle shits are a regular thing for me. I get those giant whole pickles and munch on them with some popcorn. I missed 15 minutes of Guardians of the Galaxy because of them!

3 is a good day for me. :( It can sometimes get up into the teens for me on bad days.