Person trying to politely let someone down: Yeah! I’d totally be interested in you in an alternative scenario that could literally never happen!

He was encouraged by her “ambiguous signals.” It’s called “not wanting to make her advisor an enemy.” It’s called “not antagonizing the person who is the gatekeeper to her career.” Fuck. This is why the codes against fraternizing should be extended to grad school.

Whatever’ll get her elected.

in their defense, who even knows what hillary’s positions are, lol

- the pope

HOW’S THAT COOL POPE TREATIN YA, GUYS

If I knew what the sex act was, I would have described it in elaborate detail. Nobody seems to have the video yet.

I know this isn’t an open thread but Jez is my only anonymous outlet. So... sorry.

This is what happens when you don’t copy and paste that disclaimer on Facebook.

If anyone can think of any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, please passive-aggressively blog about it right now, right here, during the ceremony, with your champagne gold iPhone 6, which is so last June anyway because the rose gold iPhone 6s is where it’s at now.

TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK

I dunno, the Office and Parks and Rec seemed to do a good job in my opinion. I hate the endless “will they, won’t they”, let’s thrown in some BS impediments crap and was kind of glad to see they wouldn’t go down that road. I really liked how Pam/Jim and Leslie/Ben explored actual relationships. It was still funny but…

Less rom, more Chelsea Peretti, please. Actually, Chelsea Peretti spin-off. k tnx bai.

I work in financial services, a bastion of white conservative Republicans. I’ve seen an interesting shift there and it’s away from this sort of bullshit. The most conservative woman I know recently said something I found interesting: “The social issues are done. We’re finished there. The Supreme Court has made that…

I wrote it down. She said 39. I added the “like” for fun. Sorry you were not charmed.

Congratulations, you have successfully identified the rhetorical device known as parody. You win one free lorazepam.

“just above the guy who dug a hole in a bag of butter and had his way with it before being caught in the act.”

you don’t get to make decisions like this for a dead person

I mean those things will definitely make you healthier but they don’t guarantee weight loss.

I mean most likely yes but you could also get Hep E from food and the weirdo in me needs to know