I never advocate lying (unless you’re being railroaded in court). Since you know what works for you, when you are ready to try it, maybe bars are a better idea. It’s mostly about making the connection, not how or where you do it.

You’re right women do more emotional labor in relationships, way more. That’s why I’m not in one, lol. I don’t have the time, energy, nor inclination to train or mother a man into romantic maturity. As soon as a woman feels like she’s mothering her partner, she loses all sexual passion for him.

Agreed. Relative to a man’s experience I find dating incredibly easy. Relationships, absolutely not. It frustrated me when I was younger but I’m past the age where I need one. I love my freedom, and my 2 careers keep me busy 7 days a week. But if I wanted to be in a relationship, I’d be frustrated right now.…

I hear women complain so often that they’re sick of telling men how to do it. My point was only that most women aren’t as clear or forthcoming as they think they are or pretend to be. (I get it; it can be hard, but the blame is misdirected and some of these women just aren’t being honest.)

I don’t know where you live or what your social circle is like. I don’t why you and other women have such a hard time finding great dates with good-hearted, thoughtful men who are happy to learn how to please you in bed.

That’s great you’ve found fulfillment in your life. But in at least 3 places in this last comment, you presume men should find it where and how you do. What makes you think you know what would make them fulfilled? What makes you think what works for you would work for them? What makes you think they have moral issues…

I don’t know what Sparknotes are but the truth is many, maybe most, women really don’t tell their partners much about what they want, like, or need in bed. If that’s not you, awesome. But you should know it is a fact and any first year sex therapist will tell you the same.

This makes me sad.

For what it’s worth, I’ve been with both sexes. For many years I made a 6 figure living pleasing men, but you could not pay me enough to do the same with women. Physically we are more complicated and also (and this is huge) much less forthcoming about what we like, want, and need in bed.

Because men carry the stress of performance anxiety (the need to get her off as proof he’s a good lover and therefor a real man) throughout the sex act. A recent study revealed 55% of men rate “relief” as their top reaction to a woman’s orgasm. Because it ends the stress of performance anxiety and he can then more…

I have to be honest, I’m reading his posts and as someone who works in the field of sex therapy, he’s actually spot on. And you’ve been really dismissive of him and his valid points, then got a bunch of other commenters on board who almost certainly didn’t do their own research. You’ve done him, yourself, them, and…

Seconded! This is great advice and it works amazingly well.

This is actually very insightful. One of the techniques I use as a coach (and most sex therapists use as well) is to bypass penetration. Get out of the “goal-orientation” mindset and into the present moment of pleasure. The word “foreplay” should be eliminated from your mind. Consider all the sexual activity to be The…

Any decent sex therapist, even a first year therapist, could tell you this is true. Women incorrectly assume a man’s erection is a direct reflection on them and their level of attractiveness ALL THE TIME. I don’t even work with women or couples and hear this complaint/fear regularly. (I get requests from women &…

Fwiw, I wrote a book a few years back and the first thing I did, literally on day one, was quit Netflix. I’d still be writing that thing if I hadn’t, lol. (It’s being released later this year.)

One of my favorite lovers ever was really kinda clumsy in bed. But god I loved sex with him! He was enthusiastic and passionate. That’s literally 90% of it for me.

LOL, thank you. 

I read the context in which he did that. You’re making a much bigger deal out of it than is warranted.

I care about all my clients. If I cannot find something about them to genuinely care about and connect with I don’t see them. (Have you ever heard of Surrogate Partner therapy? Have you seen The Sessions with Helen Hunt? That might help you see how I approach my work, how I feel about my clients, and how they feel…

I know a lot of bartenders. Not one thinks there are more alcoholics than there are. In fact they can tell the difference better than most people. They become more discerning. Cops see a lot of violence. They don’t assume a gun fight is going to break out at every ballgame. Neurologists pick out autistic people faster…