Thanks there, Tron guy. You're a cool dude.

Maybe not. If that's the case then we'd be looking at what? Two female winners in the last 15 years in the shape of Charlize Theron and Cate Blanchett? Maybe Helen Mirren? God, this is depressing to think about.

Agreed. Although I'm pretty sure Portman would've beaten Colin Firth for Black Swan. Pretty easily, too.

And in the justest world, American Honey would win Picture and Director. And the Supporting Actor category would be entirely filled by all the Moonlight guys.

I hate this kind of argument. Not because a film is about pretty white people and their small-ish struggles does it mean that it is somehow less worthy of awards than a film about gay black men. A film's importance or relevance has nothing to do with the film's subject matter.

No one in the industry identifies as "the industry", though. They all think they are Emma Stone, making their dreams come true one bad musical number at a time.

Is this really a thing? People think Star Wars deserved to win Best Picture?

I haven't seen the Meryl Streep movie but I really, really want to. Everyone is complaining about her nomination but I find it impossible to believe that she was in any way less deserving than Emma Stone.

John Travolta looks in the mirror already in blackface: "I am ready".

It's a shame "Fire at Sea" won't win. Not only do I think it's the best documentary I saw all year, I think it's the best film. Just breathtaking stuff. I saw it months ago and I can't get it out of my head.

- Directed by Paul Haggis

To be fair, Jason Bateman is hot as fuck, so it sounds about right.

Just yesterday I saw an interview in which he said he was "probably 40 years away from making anything that comes close". Maybe you misheard?

I think he nailed the emotional aspect of the film. The performances were stunning and the diner scene in particular was thrilling filmmaking…

Does American Honey count as an American film? If so, then that's the only directing in American film that really stood out to me this year. I thought there were some strong screenplays out there that were let down by their directors, from Moonlight and Hell or High Water to The Witch.

The Academy isn't particularly hard either.

That can't possibly be in the final cut, can it? That's one of the worst cuts I have ever seen in my life.

Exactly, there was such a wide range of emotions that she flashed on such little time… I was amazed. It was great acting.

Well if it's a bubble I hope it bursts soon, because this bubble of ours is fucking terrifying.

Didn't you hear? America is great again. A little pastel-coloured fifties-inspired utopia is right on the money.