He's magical all right. Like an Orc.

Damn! And we would have been so perfect for each other!

Based on what the older kids told me on the playground, I'm guessing his palms are positively furry. But then, I'm still waiting to give birth to a watermelon after swallowing a seed twenty-five years ago, so I'm not sure they can be trusted.

I mean, really. Having to choose between cat pictures and that prize?

I haven't even read the list yet but I had to be the first to say: I know Romeo Rose, I flirted shamelessly on the internet with Romeo Rose, and you, sir, are no Romeo Rose.

Yes! Purity and all that. Those whorish nails of yours are standing between you and SALVAAAAYTION, nevermind equal rights (which you don't need anyway, because you should just be sitting at home pooping out offspring and making sandwhiches for Massa).

As long as you cite the gifs, I'm good with it.

Personally I think things got a bit ridiculous in the 1770's.

I Wanna Be on Television is the more accurate title for all reality tv.

This is how cool the Oregon Humane Society is. When I was volunteering there, we had a cat named Macaroni that was black, long haired, FIV+, with three legs and one eye. That is five major strikes against him, but he was so overwhelmingly sweet and friendly that we used to let him run loose inside the cattery a couple…

I believe dick is graded on the same scale the USDA uses: Prime, Choice, Select, Standard, Commercial, Utility.

John the Baptist cried out in the wilderness and people went out to listen to him. This guy cried out in the middle of the town square and everyone left. I don't know about you, but I'd say that's a clear hint from God.

TIL: Meth is an integral part of premarital sex.

This only serves to strengthen my hypothesis of the South's obsession with white dresses.

So, as an Actual Professional Cat Lady (not my real job title but close enough)... cats rarely just attack like that for no reason. (That's called Idiopathic Aggression, and it's rare.) Cats might become "randomly" aggressive when they're in pain; they either association you with the pain (because they can't determine…

I'm so tired of arguing science with people that I just go and post this Roald Dahl quote now:

ADOPT a dog, give it a home, and love it forever. This is the proper solution. Also, meet my newest rescue, Captain Button.

The frequency of women walking up to men and, randomly and without context, telling them to pay for things is truly one of the greatest cultural problems of our time.

1) Anything with lace or crochet insets, any form of bedazzling (don't judge me), or faux leather sections is going to pucker like whoa as soon as it's washed. Just don't. One fabric to rule them all.

Booo!