He should be kissing the hem of your garment! That isn’t easy to find anymore!

I had a friend who saw all the brand labelling on his toys and decided that Santa just stole the toys from other kids and gave them to him, because no way elves could make Hot Wheels.

This is pure truth. Every single word.

Those fingers at the ends of your rat-paws are good for more than just masturbation. You can also use them to scroll past things you don't want to read,

Yeah, I thought he died too.

Oh no. The world does not need this movie.

Yeah, and Frasier flipped out and tried to guilt them, but they were like: “The marriage is over! What did we even do wrong?”

If it ever comes to nextflix, you might give it a try. It was funny to me and I was in my early teens when I was watching it. Won tons of Emmys, so they were doing something right.

Lol! I can see how if someone watched the show only half-listening they might come away with that impression!

I was too, until I remembered that episode of Frasier.

In the nineties everyone marvelled at how the Internet was an “information explosion”. Now it just seems to be an explosive voiding of the bowels.

I just checked, and I’ll admit I’m stultified by the stupidity of the questions; but the top answer seems to always be the correct one.

Ditto! I'd have been so embarrassed not to know these things as a teen! And I managed to find the info in a pre-Internet world. Now it seems like the info should find these kids even if they aren't looking for it.

People in this country are really stupid. I mean bone-stick-stone stupid.

I’m not excusing “abstinence only” education, but teenagers today must be dumb as ditchposts of they don’t understand what the hell a condom is for, or how babies are made.

I suppose it would kill the joke if they went into further explanation, but did they say what the hell the other bases were?

It’s absolutely insane that even though every kid has a computer in their pocket that can connect them to more knowledge than any other people had throughout the history of civilization, so few of them get curious as to where the hell babies come from, or how a condom works and punch their questions into Google.

Lol what the hell movie was that from?

I’d like to drink with you, Tina; because I'm curious about how pedantic we'd each get. (If you don't remember that conversation, I won't hold it against you)

This contest is over. You Win!