It’s absolutely insane that even though every kid has a computer in their pocket that can connect them to more knowledge than any other people had throughout the history of civilization, so few of them get curious as to where the hell babies come from, or how a condom works and punch their questions into Google.

Lol what the hell movie was that from?

I’d like to drink with you, Tina; because I'm curious about how pedantic we'd each get. (If you don't remember that conversation, I won't hold it against you)

This contest is over. You Win!

How in the world is that possible?

You deserve a galaxy of stars for this.

I thought I'd miss Facebook, but I like my family better now that I'm off it.

You said it, Mo.

That's hilarious.

It's a hard one. I personally wouldn't know that was an offensive remark if I hadn't watched so much BET Comic View back in the late nineties. Then again, who knows? Perhaps the knowledge would have found me some other way.

The world is turning into a cesspool of imbeciles.

I think weddings are fine, but expensive weddings are a really stupid way to begin a marriage. Instead of having a giant party, why not use that money as a downpayment on a house?

Taittingers blanc de blanc all the way! Get yourself a whole jeroboam!

Both my wife and my sister took bc pills to help regulate their mood, and it did them a world of good.

Your won’t get sued for slander! Name some names!

I worked with an Ethiopian immigrant who told me about his experiences working at McDonald’s as one of his many “survival jobs” while he put himself through school in the early aughts.

Hilarious. Excellent riposte, on your part. Absolutely withering to hear that from your own daughter, I’d imagine. If I was a dad, though, I really couldn’t imagine discussing my daughter’s tits with anyone; least of all HER.

I'm flabbergasted. I figured her for an old housewife who had it drummed into her that the only thing a woman needs to worry about is being gorgeous.

Oh, if you like that, then you’ll love this. I have an archive of my best ones in my profile, just a few clicks away.

Holy moly. I’m guessing she never saw much point to “all that thar book-larnin’” in her own life as well. I hope it didn't mar your day too much.