Taittingers blanc de blanc all the way! Get yourself a whole jeroboam!

Both my wife and my sister took bc pills to help regulate their mood, and it did them a world of good.

Your won’t get sued for slander! Name some names!

I worked with an Ethiopian immigrant who told me about his experiences working at McDonald’s as one of his many “survival jobs” while he put himself through school in the early aughts.

Hilarious. Excellent riposte, on your part. Absolutely withering to hear that from your own daughter, I’d imagine. If I was a dad, though, I really couldn’t imagine discussing my daughter’s tits with anyone; least of all HER.

I'm flabbergasted. I figured her for an old housewife who had it drummed into her that the only thing a woman needs to worry about is being gorgeous.

Oh, if you like that, then you’ll love this. I have an archive of my best ones in my profile, just a few clicks away.

Holy moly. I’m guessing she never saw much point to “all that thar book-larnin’” in her own life as well. I hope it didn't mar your day too much.

Great answer! I gotta know what he said when you nailed him with that...

Wow. He doesn't set the bar high, does he?

Ps he also described my sister as the pretty one and me as the smart one.

A eagle’s talons can exert a grip of 400 pounds per square inch. People would be wise not to screw with them.

Yeah, my dad has a vacuum that is over 33 years old and still absolutely fine. It's a canniser vac. The only think he ever needed to do was get a new hose for it.

No snark here: The cover for Prisoner of Passion is hot as hell in this dude’s opinion. My heart is pounding like a chorus of angry fists on a stainless-steel deli counter.

I don’t know if you’ll see this down here in the grey pit, but Im sorry you won’t be coming anymore! I clutch but a single hope folded to my chest... If you are still within distant earshot, as one with those who have already wished you well and lamented your hegira outward, please add my own melancholy sigh to the…

Here is a fantastic story of toilet revenge in Kazakhstan:

You might find this compendium amusing:

I wouldn’t have been one of them.

I wish I could have been there! Holy moly, that sounds like an experience!

You can drive it out with Its a Small World After All. Sorry. Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease.