If you are reading this post, give me a star. I want to see if anyone actually reads this far down into the greys in order to see what I’ll be playing (Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch), or if this article is just a lot of people talking past each other. I suspect people are interested in what they themselves plan…

I tell you this from the deepest well of honesty to which I have access: If teenage me was working there and I saw my coworker being sucked out of the window like that, I’d make a dash for a large, but not unwieldy vessel of roiling, blistering french-fry grease, and jog outside with it. Then, I’d fling it at their…

If that’s her solution to getting her car taken away, I wonder if moving into this place will be her plan if she ever faces an eviction:

That mupped friggin’ CHANNELED Meg Ryan right there! If they could have made the puppeteer give it that scrunchy-face-success-look I’d have assumed Meg Ryan was doing a guest spot!

I’m still not allowed to! My wife says they trigger migraines!

That was a high price to pay for a few extra “likes” on Facebook.

Most guys just buy a sports car...

It should have been effective too. I think men appreciate when their SO is sexually available; but that added element of being seductive is really good for keeping the furnace extra hot.

It shows you what a double-edged sword technology is. On the one hand, I’ve come to loathe that at a party, the wall is lined with people tweeting and texting; to say nothing of the idiots who do it at the movies and plays.

Don’t let it exasperate you, though, Anna. The great black hole paradigm of ignorance that lies at the center of the Internet is that it is, itself, an idiot savant. It has no memory, it has no connection with the past, it has no way of saving people like these from Santayana’s warning. It has gulled them into…

As a card-carrying member of the straight-male club, let me say that was an awesome, and very erotic attempt you made. Would have turned me to jelly if the wife did that number!

She looks like she was poured into it.

I realize that, good sir. Problem is, they weren’t coming to the anime conventions back in the nineties. Very few of them were watching “those Chinese cartoons” back then. I blame lack of Internet.

I’m glad my parlance has such appeal to you, Nick. Here’s one just for you:

*strokes his chin and nods thoughtfully*

Why can’t anybody request the footage? My hunch is that if the footage went viral before a judge for whatever reason, valid or invalid, decided that it was inadmissible as evidence, the jury pool would already be contaminated.

Oh, kiddo. This country has been a cesspool of imbeciles for a long time.

I love how politicians never look normal in the pictures to these articles. I don't know where you find them, but it's funny! Keep doing it!

Dude was drunk, so are we sure this isn’t some half-remembered nightmare about a big, Molly-laced RingPop?