Even though I know Tamra and Vicki are still alive, I still get a little thrill every time I see that dune buggy fly.

And then Dorinda, sweet, wonderful, wired, slurring Dorinda decided, “ya know WHAT? I’mma take a pause on my own party at my own house and watch Law & Order instead.” I could not have loved her more in that moment. Just kind of wandering by wrapped in a blanket.

Sassafras!

Milania is easily my favorite Housewives child across all franchises. She will lead us all to our own deaths in a fiery blaze, and I salute her.

And Cameran just wants Patricia’s real estate contacts. Otherwise, why willingly submit yourself to a friendship? with Whitney?

I was so thrilled to see the first film on Vicki and Tamra’s brush with death last night during Southern Charm. Which - side note - Whitney’s totally going to murder someone in that LA house of his, right?

I’m *still* mourning Millihelen. Oh now you want us to talk about makeup? NOW? Don’t mind me, I’m just going to go pout into my beauteque subscription box.

I feel like you have to be really hard-line to get anything across to Sonja. Because if you give her the tiniest scrap of positive encouragement, she’ll hang onto it for dear life and reject everything else you’ve said.

This season is *so much* about all of the drugs all of these loonies are taking. Dorinda and John should just have a flashing neon sign over them that constantly screams COCAINE!

I am a Real Housewives of Potomac Kitchen Truther, and I will not be silenced!

I don’t want to live in a world without PubLIZity. (It’s based off our names!*Slurp*)

Below Deck Med is nothing without Captain Lee! (I haven’t watched Below Deck Med yet, but I feel this is an accurate analysis.)

Yeah, there’s something about stuffing Jamie’s hunkiness into a brocade vest that just does not work.

Those were the DAYS! Ah, memories.

Jessica is the best!

Even with the wig and the obvious evil aura, I still find myself questioning Jamie’s hotness when I’m lookin’ at the Compte.

I live near Southdale but work near MoA. I’m constantly pitting the two Sephoras against each other for my affections!

Related: The seating for the RHOBH reunion is so confusing! Erika, Yolanda, LVP and Kyle all on one couch?! It makes no sense!

He will always be Mateo to me!

I would just like to take this space to say that Ramona’s hair is way too long. Thank you.