Going off the idea of Jon Lester, I actually used timehop for a year or two and damn was that ever enlightening to see the stupid shit I’ve tweeted in the past. I started on twitter in the summer of ‘09 so I was like, 25/26 or so. Well past the age of saying sexist, racist, or homophobic shit for a young, white male.…

Oh, come on, they were only 14 when they tweeted that stuff, how can you hold that against them?

That’s fun and all but really, how does Brian McCann feel about this?

Oh well you can fuck right the fuck off.

This was all balanced out by the fact that everyone involved are Cubs fans, therefore displaying very questionable character and should not be trusted.

I don’t want a Large Farva, I want a liter of cola.

This very same PR firm with the tagline, Make Amazing Sh!t.

That’s what I call some serious fucking job security.

Come and find me, asshole.

It’s San Francisco, tho

These are normal meats. Find a new slant.

I watch about the same but I’m very cognizant of the ramifications of playing the sport. I had my share of injuries playing in school (not college), head and body injuries, so to see a guy like Shazier be paralyzed on a normal, run-of-the-mill play didn’t shock me so much as reinforce the idea that this is not a…

Women age like wine. Men age like cheese that’s been left out on the counter on a day where it’s 90 and humid. This guy is already fucking hideous and that woman, Ria, will still be fuckable in 20 years.

PR, baby. I mean, who wouldn’t want to fuck that face.

I guess since I don’t enjoy “having an insane amount of fun” at work and drinking “tons of mountain dew on your off day playing video games”, I’m getting screwed out of that vacuum sales job I never would have applied for in the first place because I’m not a fucking loser that is only qualified to work in sales.

Shut up, Craig.

Scored as a fielder’s choice and all runners safe. http://www.espn.com/mlb/playbyplay?gameId=380612108

Why?

Either way, I’m sure it really fucking hurt.

I pray to God The Athletic tries to snatch him up so people question themselves and ask, “Why would I pay money to read this shit?” and the paywall bullshit dies forever because of Darren Rovell.