I want to crowdfund a mariachi band to play them all out.

Last one off the Titanic don’t forget to turn out the lights.

You are not helping....

I assume that’s because only one of those two groups had enough people doing this that they had to address it with legislation.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh maybe THAT was acknowledged in the first fucking sentence of the article.

Only 24 states actually ban marriage of first cousins. 20 states actually allow this!

Whoever decided the combination of Ryan Seacrest and Jenny McCarthy made for a great New Year’s Eve broadcast team, should be shot.

This is what happens when you hire Shelbyville Manhattan as your program director.

I thought this was from Cheddar, England, and I was wondering why a bunch of cheese makers wanted to marry their cousins.

Let me be the first to say....”Ewwwwww........”

She seems to curate her products carefully and doesn’t just try to sell stuff off of her name so she’ll probably do really well.

*please come in plus sizes please come in plus sizes*

And cue the apologists:

I think another big part of this — where we’ve tended to fail most egregiously — is the assumption that once individual battles have been won, the issues are settled. Abortion? Legal! Worker exploitation? Protected against (lol obviously not, but bear with me for the sake of argument)! Racism? Hey, we ended…

I’ve met Tina before and she is a formidable woman with an exceptional background. She and her team will bring real change count on it.

i will destroy splinter news if it’s the last thing i do

would love to get the splinter news slack transcripts, please contact me ashley.feinberg@huffpost.com

Oh, yeah. Check out his Twitter handle.

A friend was telling me about this guy and his bonafides: Backed by Bernie, an Ironworker, army veteran, and cancer survivor. But not until just now when I googled him did I learn of his amazing nickname. How can Wisconsin NOT vote for a guy named “IronStache”? That is so amazingly blue collar.

solving a solution is next level woke