LOL True story. The time I used Ctrl+Z in a meeting like three of them ganged up on me and threw me in the fountain to see if I’d float.

Yes, yes, and yes. I could not believe someone actually suggested using the mouse for this.  It’s like watching my father-in-law click. inside. every. form. element. to. fill. it. out.  RANDY I KNOW YOU HAVE A TAB KEY.

there’s literally a drawerful of European Sudafed on the right side in the background of the infamous “I love Hispanics!” tweet pic.

I think MyTVNeverLies was referring to Joe Biden’s thoughts on his own children, not his wish for Fred Trump to have survived instead of Don.

This conspiracy theory is absolutely my shit right now. Trump loves UK Sudafed based on evidence from the motherfucking taco salad photo. Love living in 2019

There is absolutely zero fucking chance that a millionaire who ran in NYC’s upper social circles in the 70's and 80's never did a line, ZERO.

$10 for a jar of marinara? Must be nice being part of the 1%

People who love cooking are really bad at imagining there are people who don’t love cooking.

Beer: Zero

Speed definitely, cocaine probably, but those are rich people drugs and so they don’t count as drugs.

Sudafed is his drug of choice, allegedly.

I go back and forth on that. I can see him drinking pills right from the bottle, but I can also see him being a Tom-Cruise-style scientologist type who thinks that any medicine is weakness. Especially the ones which have vaguely foreign-sounding names.

I actually believe Trump when he says he’s never had a drink or taken drugs. His brother died from alcoholism, after all.

Good job preemptively naming Bo Jackson, and can we also stipulate Barry Sanders?

What professional athlete could you outrun?

So we agree that Trump has likely never smoked weed, but he’s for sure taken enough perscription pills to kill most of the race horses on Earth, right? I mean, I see him doing that and not counting it as “drugs” because it was from a doctor, or some sort of “medical person” who told him it would increase his manliness…

Olivia Jade is basically genetically engineered for ASU

Think of how much better off Lauri Loughlin would be right now if she had just accepted this simple truth and moved on with it.

i went to a USC/ASU game in LA and my buddy and I were stunned at how smoking hot the ASU girls were. I mentioned this to a law school classmate from UA and he said “yeah, all the hot, dumb girls who can’t get into California schools come to UA and ASU.” My wife’s friend who went to law school at ASU said that you…

Referring to Sam Bradford as a pile of discarded sandwich crusts is extremely disrespectful...to sandwich crusts.