Are they still running 5 minute commercials for doomsday prepper food kits during the breaks? If so, no thanks.

The AV Club:
Not mad, just disappointed

Conan's last Tonight Show should have included an entire segment of torturing Little Jay Leno.

Somebody missed a health class or all of them.

Does it have to be just for that? If everyone had a chance to punch Fallon in the face for whatever reason, the line to his show would extend back to Hastings, Nebraska.

Why can't he just stroll in front of an 18 wheeler like any other crazy person?

That's right Billy, I'm back and I want youuuuuuuuu!

No, it'll have to be an Albuquerque Isotopes cap.

The KFC Double Down was better, anyway.

His heart's cold enough now that he automatically qualifies for membership in the GOP.

If the cops would stop dickin' around, maybe they could resurrect their efforts to solve this case.

And of course, the fat orange one is Pumpkin Spice.

Thank goodness my little brother’s leaving the Corps in a few months. Can’t imagine he’d want to be part of anything Trump wants to start.

Does she want to make more money? Sure, we all do!

The funds will be used as bribe money to get the former owners of Myles' Pizza Pub to reveal the secret behind their sauce.

I spent three years at a fake university? SAD!

Musical Guest Tom Petty! And your host…JOHN GOODMAN!

"I'm sitting in something wet."

That's because he doesn't have a penis. Every morning, Donald Trump pulls a Cheeto from a bag and tapes it to his crotch.

BRING BACK SPORTS NIGHT!