Empire Nightmare Ants

“You know how much the average Grizz Mopper makes per hour?” -Randal Graves

Shhh, don’t tell him. He thinks he’s still on the air.

Ungrey this immediately.

GTFO of here. Breitbart is as a legitimate a news source as a pack of Starburst is a legitimate serving of fruit.

You fire him at this point, he becomes a martyr. Damn catch-22.

The AV Club

Hasn't the United States suffered enough already? What with candidates for President crisscrossing the country to show how big their dicks are compared to their tiny hands, Elizabeth Banks promoting that fucking real-estate phone app every 1.7 minutes a 21 Jump Street/Men In Black crossover AND an emoji movie? And now…

"Brawndo's got what the electorate craves! It's got electrolytes!"

You fire him at this point, he becomes a martyr. Damn catch-22.

On a related note, has anyone seen Steven Tyler since the Trump campaign ramped up?

No, he means conservative.

“Sever your leg, please. It’s the greatest day.”

Really? I’d rather he just be thrown into a sweatshop and never let out again.

So we're inevitably going to end up with a "Very Special Episode" where the helicopter holes up inside a hanger with hostages he thinks are insurgents.

Of course not. You can't have creamed eels without a glass of corn nog.

That explains it. I'm from Utica.

And Denny's "Grand Slamwich" is a gross knockoff.

*36 clicks and 100 million calories later*

Things I shout every time I enter a bar.