Looks like Lubbock is running the annual Children’s Miracle Network telethon, which is at least a good cause. I don’t see what Joplin did to deserve redneck attempts at humor and terrible local boxing.

And so, dear Lord, it is with deep sadness that we turn over to you this
young woman, whose dream to ride on a giant swan resulted in her death.
Maybe it is your way of telling us… to buy American.

History will remember this as the exact moment John McCain lost the 2008 Presidential Election.

Shatner's on Twitter pretty much all day, so it's easy to check up on him. He's fine.

In summary: asshole’s gonna ass.

That eternal flame’s gonna suck once they abstain from paying the gas bill.

And that's just one of the many reasons why it deserves to die.

Made with 46 herbs and spices that can only be found in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone.

idontthinkyoutriedatall.bmp

Yeah; that rug really tied the room together, man.

-You ever been in a comments section before?
-No sir, I've never been up in the Internet before.
-You ever seen a grown man naked?

-Would you like something to read?
-Do you have anything light?
-How about this leaflet, "Famous A.V. Club Comment Section Legends?"

It's an entirely different kind of film making.

Congratulations, looks like some hack stole your story without so much as a hat tip:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be driving to Chicago to unload my batch of San Francisco Mariners t shirts on Michigan Avenue.

Looks like the bar was Uptown Downtown. Good thing he didn’t try that on a Tuesday night (Drag Night).

What's with the wall at 0:52? There appears to be a baby monster floating in midair. Like it's sitting something, but there's nothing there for it to be sitting on.

Then why did I have the bowl, House Of Argo? Why did I have the bowl?

"Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins."

"Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos."