Gotta admire the confidence of someone willing to publicly admit to listening to Boomer Esiason’s radio show.

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy who vandalized the car of a young woman who was ostracized from her sports program after she reported his teammate for domestic abuse.

You can do it, Memphis! Assemble the Jackson 5!

I was gonna suck my thumb, but I got high

Look, just because they openly support the policies and vote for a white supremacist who desperately wants to fuck his daughter doesn’t mean that their computer hard drive is chock full of Nazi “faux”cest cosplay porn.

how could anyone support a President who put Dijon mustard on a burger, rose a tan suit, took off his jacket in the Oval Office, played basketball and used a selfie stick? The horror! Now, treason, that’s perfectly acceptable. 

““I believe it’s important to support our President whether he was your candidate or not,” Cameron told SI.com’s Grant Wahl.“

What if unrelatedly my pants were already full of poop? What do I do then?

“Don’t feel bad for me!! This what I signed up! It wear and tears on your body over time! I’ve been doing this 15 years!! “

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

And the only thing that can prevent another Patriots Super Bowl victory? This man:

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

“Maybe this was his plan all along?”

As the author of the moniker, a hyphen in “Bobby Two-Strokes,” please.

I’ll thank you to refer to that man by his proper name of “Handjob Bob” or “Bobby Two Strokes” in the future please.

“Every story deserves a happy ending.”

Sir this is a baseball post.

Disagree. No one talked about the fingering of buttholes in this clip.

Yet another Deadspin staffer bitter at the success of the mighty Oakland Athletics