This hit, that ice cold

Don't be silly, everyone knows you serve salads in wedges.

Oh my god.

So at this place, everything tastes like ham?

Ugh, some of these employees have so much attitude. If you're unwilling to do things just because they're logically impossible, maybe customer service isn't for you.

Whaaaaaaaat? No rumpsore comments yet?

now i kinda want to hear tig notaro read the importance of being earnest.

Believe victims, guys. Even if we don't like who they are as people, or they're "tryhards" or their art is dumb. Believe them.

Rape victims are treated like garbage by the vast majority of police, we just went over this with the Cosby case. What happened to Shia is not okay and I hope he gets connected with whatever supports he needs.

It's actually about ethics in video game journalism.

If your children are watching Sons of Anarchy, that's really your problem, now isn't it? ALSO PORNOGRAPHY IS FREE FOR ALL BECAUSE OF THE EGALITARIAN EQUALIZER KNOWN AS THE INTERNET.

Penn Holderness: [reads article]

Thank you for your concise explanation. I now TOTALLY get where they are coming from. I'd be pissed too if people wanted me to be, you know, understanding and/or inclusive.

Because Happy Holidays and also nativity scenes aren't allowed on courthouse lawns anymore, basically.

Um, actually it's not about his penis. It's about ethics in journalism.

I sent a telegram to my servants asking them to clutch some pearls and pray for youths.

Oh god

When I was in college, my roommate and I went to some Halloween party with a girl from our dorm. The next morning, she comes walking up to the common area still in her eighties-prom outfit. We asked her where she ended up staying the night...she lifts up her dress to reveal her yellow thighs and says "Bart Simpson…