Seriously. I’ve pointed this out before, but...

“The sisters weren’t convicted of any crimes, rather their sentence was punishment for their brother’s elopement.”

You win all of the stars for this.

Think you are better than me just because I’m some poor guy you paid a nickle to bust up a ship of robes?

I think there should be a t-shirt that just says “Dammit, Pinkham!”

This was my first thought!

That’s SCA levels of commitment, right there.

The Tito’s/Tanqueray thing reminds me of this time back in my mid-20s when I went to this party my then-roommate’s friends were throwing. I didn’t really know the people at this party, but there was free booze, so whatever. I’m making random small talk with this dude who, it became quickly apparent, was a total…

I hope your asshole writes a bestseller countering all of your dick’s accusations, and that the two of them become embroiled in a decades-long media feud.

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

I mean, that’s the only way I know how to get protein into my diet.

I just had to remind myself to breathe. I say we turn this into a joe maganiello thread.

AND WHAT AN UPGRADE!

No. He can never have children. Ever. In fact, as a result of this entire situation, Sofia Vegara now gets to castrate him and eat his testicles on a special episode of “Modern Family”

If I were Sofia I would eat those fucking embryos on toast like they were fucking caviar.

If she has children with Joe Magniello, we won’t be able to look directly at them. Like the sun.

Let’s get this out of the way: I think describing him as ‘cute’ is being way too generous.

#notalljuggalos