Another opportunity to share my favourite ever headline! Working for a small city newspaper when the local council decided it really wasn’t feasible to get two pandas for the local animal park - the paper headline was:

Just get Red Pandas. Smaller, cuter, better in snow.

A lot of police departments have actually lowered the qualifications for being police officers because they claim they weren’t getting enough applicants. There was an article about the Albuquerque police force a couple of years ago where it mentioned that they lowered the qualifications to become an officer there…

...and not a one of those senators who stayed home touched a shovel or vacuum cleaner.

BA English Literature magna cum laude, Harvard College 1971 and after all this time, the only value you’ve gotten out of it is bragging about it on Gawker in 2016.

Dick Cheney shot a white, rich Republican, in the face, and then the guy he shot APOLOGIZED TO CHENEY for how awful Cheney must have felt about it.

The sad part is he may be right.

What, is Putin giving him campaign tips or something? This is crazed dictator talk.

Joke’s on them. Deadspin triumphs.

I love when people get angry about the Reply All—it’s always the oldest, dumbest people who obviously were so excited about an email and then so angry to realize it wasn’t really to them.

Kool Aid drinkers born every second.

Well, hell just a few years ago these guys would’ve been disappeared into Iran, held on end for years until a show trial, convicted and held for years more until they could be negotiated free. This is such a positive in our relations. They detained them buy the book, videoed it as proof of no maltreatment. Seemed to…

Extreme views on both sides are bullshit. I only trust one source to accurately report the news without any bias. I watch The Daily Show.

My wife had Fox News on last night when she went to bed. The woman and her two guests repeatedly talked about how embarrassing it was and how these soldiers were forced to do things they didn’t want to do and that it was basically an act of war.

It’s the Republican way! Megyn Kelly argued for family leave after she had kids, Dick Cheney supports gay marriage because his daughter is gay, the Bushes support immigration reform because some of them are Hispanic, and on and on and on. If a Republican holds a rational view on something, you can bet dollars to…

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king?

I might snuff out my child for doing something so awful so I applaud their courage to do the right thing and let the law handle it. Still...so awful for them as well.

The Khmer Rouge used kids this age and younger as soldiers and executioners. ISIS is doing the same thing today. I’m not going to try to guess what these kids have been exposed to, and what else is going on, but you can’t assume that kids won’t do horrible shit, especially in a group.

That’s why (in general) I think…

My son would have to pray that the cops get him first.

Huzzah for the parents.