Somebody on Tumblr posted a video of one of his speeches slowed down and he sounds exactly like a drunk guy at a bar at 2AM talking to nobody in particular and now that’s all I can hear when he talks.

I figure if he dies/confesses to Russian treachery/starts just screaming and crying I’ll hear about it soon enough.

It’s not like you can believe anything he says anyway.

The horribleness you would expect and some super awkward moments!

I am drinking and watching CSI: Miami reruns instead.

Same. Me.

My first thought was, “Who are those people of color allowing themselves to be used like that?” Then, it had only been a few minutes and I was already overwhelmed by the hypocrisy and insincerity, and I thought, OMG, I just can’t. 

It’s actually a good speech! I mean, for once our president doesn’t come across as a kook or a Fascist.

Don’t worry, you haven’t missed a thing. There is absolutely nothing that you haven’t heard before. Drug dealers out! Open the coal mines!! I’m bringing back millions of jobs! I got us a better deal on new jets! Islamic Terrorism!! The inner cities are in a bad way... but I’m gonna fix that. Shrinking middle…

My cousin in Nebraska is doing the listening for me and sending texts. Those are enraging enough.

I’m streaming Merlin on Netflix. Uther Pendragon looks downright civilized compared to Trump.

One of the blogs I read is posting just puppies and kittens; it must be bad.

As if Trump isn’t awful enough-and his supporters don’t make my skin crawl- my next door neighbors that love him set off HUGE celebratory Trump fireworks- during a drought might I add- that managed to totally ding up our garage.

NIXON’S BACK!!!!!!

I have to watch it for work, and you’re not missing much. He’s basically just rehashing all the “GREAT!” things he’s done so far and saying cliche bold, mostly untrue statements that’ll be debunked tomorrow.

I just can’t with his voice anymore, particularly when he’s reading from a teleprompter and you can flat-out tell he’s just reading the words without any comprehension, and when he does get a flash of comprehension, he’ll add something like “It’s really bad, folks,” or “Am I right?

That’s my problem. I start to feel like not being current on what’s happening/about to happen is bad and then you start to feel bad if you’re not current.

Drink every time he says “believe me” or “fake news” - you’ll black out in 15 min.

Just fill this out & you’ll get an idea:

We already know who he is in what had to have been one of the longest, most grueling campaigns in presidential history.