You don’t get to tell me what shows I should watch. You. Dont. Get. To. Tell. Me. That is MY show. I Choose MY show. Me. Not you. (Stares vacantly into space while music rises in back.) (whispering) It’s the only show I have. The only show. (swallows, looks teary-eyed) And I love it, you know?

Annnd now would be about the time the Parker/Broderick divorce procedings start.

Mee toooo. 56 to 52. Hardly notice it except for the hot flashes.

Lost City of Z succckkkked.

Okay, so read the whole Brad Pitt article and...I think he’s still acting. Pulling out the readymade quotes? Who does that without flashcards before an interview? I had to weed through all the bullshit to get the main message, which is that Angie boy-byed him and it sounds like she had every reason to. I still like…

Joey Buttafucco pants are back! Thanks Brad! Thanks GQ!

I love those two. They seem real. But, you know divorce is just months away.

What part of Trump’s cabinet will OJ be voted in to? My guess is AG, after Sessions is removed.

Vow renewal=marriage trouble, amiright?

I was wondering why superstar music vids always feature paparazzi and hotel rooms. But then I realized that’s all they know. Like if I were to make one, it would take place at Target, the supermarket, and in my living room vacuuming up cat vomit.

Hollywood people, STOP GETTING MARRIED. JUST STOP.

Honestly, can there just be a law passed in California, or all states for that matter, that prohibits the marriage of any celebrity to anyone else? Or, is the divorce lawyer lobby too strong for that?

Uh, helloooo! Minnesota just elected the first Somali state representative. And she’s a woman. https://www.facebook.com/IlhanMN/

Uh, wrong . The solar panels were replaced by W. They are much more efficient than when they were installed by Carter. Check your facts.

I’d opt for this.

Oh, please don’t tell me that John Krasinski is a dick. Please!

So interesting that they pick St. Anne’s. Super liberal, hippy-dippy, lots of neurotic, spoiled, art kids/families. Doesn’t sound like the Jason Bourne I know. But whatevs.

Honestly, wealthy people who spend their $ on expensive flashy vulgar fuel-wasting blinged-out cars make. me. sick.

Honestly, can all these people just STOP trying to get married? It’s too much of a headache for a celebrity to try to keep in a committed monogamous relationship, especially with another celebrity. Just be together when you want and apart when you want. And most of them have enough money to support a kid alone…

Man in the mirror takes on a whole new meaning now.