Ohhhh Christ. That is amazing.

Did we at least make some bank off this transaction?

I keep trying to stress the second syllable, like "b'thenny," is that what you mean?

"Fictional Characters Who Need Hugs" needs to be a tumblr, please, get on it

Well I dunno, is Drake hiring?

I have an irrational and pervasive hatred for her, and it makes me feel kind of stupid. She's great on Mad Men, but do I hate her because of Betty Draper? I'm pretty sure I hate her because her performance in X-Men First Class was terrible to the point of being insulting to everyone who had to suffer through it. …

Haaaaaaaaahhhh thank you! I just rolled my eyes out of my head reading all the comments on the last Dirt Bag re: the plight of the Bostonians and also Jez's apparently rampant Canada-bashing.

I was on the red line headed home, and the train car was packed with Cubs fans headed for the game. Reading was difficult over the sound of their tittering enthusiasm. When we got to their stop, the conductor said: "Addison. Everyone have a good time watching the Cubs lose." The disembarking fans made a quiet "Aw"…

Sooooo wait. Did they really kick off the girl with the eating disorder because she was too fat? Is that what I'm taking from this?

But either way, your neighbor will get really mad if you steal them from her lawn to give to your mom.

A friend's mom had the same attitude about the name "Justin." Planned to name her firstborn son that all her life. It wasn't her fault she married a man with the surname "Case." "I figured no one would notice," SHE LITERALLY SAID. Poor guy.

Well, all the pearl clutching is about how much money the NHS is spending on these multiple-abortions-for-funsies, so I think that, yes, price is an issue.

That is HILARIOUS. "Yeah, I was just this orc smashing a dragon to death with a couple of axes, I see how that's pretty femmy."

I'm pretty sure Arthur Conan Doyle will rise to say "For God's sake just let them all die!"

Hell, they could do the entire series with Idris Elba doing all the roles in different costumes. I'd watch it every night, on the television I've had installed in my bunk.

I was getting negged at a bar, and when I was like "Dude, you're seriously negging me?" He was like "No way, I only go for hot chicks." It was very meta-neg, like being in the neg-matrix. Unfortunately this ended up culminating in him grabbing my ass and me slapping him in the face and getting dragged out of the…

Seconded.

Thank you for this.

AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHH

Plus, you know only sluts wear button-up shirts, so they can fool righteous and godly men into fantasizing about ripping off those buttons with their teeth.