I have it in good authority that no kids read Kotaku, they are all really 1000 year old dragons/demons.

can’t do that anymore on Switch

Not quite the same thing, but here:

Psst, Kotaku in Action is far from being most everyone in the gaming community.

All pokémon added with the DLC (old and new) will be available for use (though not capture) for every player regardless of DLC purchase. There will be a free update to enable it for everyone.

Pokémon Yellow - 1999

Not only the emblem:

Ignoring for a moment that your whole premise rests on a baseless assumption:

Now, thinking of Gigantamax Orbeetle, I actually feel sad Blastoise is not in SwSh to have a full-fledged tank Gigantamax form.

What? But Nintendo is one of the chillest companies in the world regarding their IP, second only to Disney.

Only instead of hunting monsters the wookie is ripping the arms off people who best it at board games.

Tell me about it, I still sometimes have to pause to wrap my head around the idea of Quadruple Parallel Universes in Mario.

Microsoft, bringing the BSOD directly to our brains.

In my (yet) limited experience, the 2 year boss fight is one of the hardest (and longest) you’ll face. Be sure to rack up some XP with the teething mini-bosses.

But in its latest Pokedex entry, found in Sword, it says this instead: “...it swallows as much water as it can to match the opponent’s size.”

Or do I play the waiting game and see how much of a Nintendo Switch can break off while still being able to play games? You know, for science.

I have an OG Switch that is perfectly fine, even though I use it at least 6 hours/day (I have over 730 hours on Zelda alone) and 80% of the time handheld (I’ve even fallen asleep on my bed with it running more than once).