I like them in theory, but the execution is weak for me.  Maybe a less chunky heel?

Maxipads go on cunts, so this checks out.

Looks like someone got fed up and flung a loaf of bread dough at her.

Darling... Your passionate analytics and seamless integration of sustainability and storytelling help me to downsize my enterprise. The knowledge you bring of offshoring opportunities, data mining collaboration and scalability pushes me to think outside of the box.

What the fuck is that on her head? She looks ridiculous 

I once went on a ghost hunt as an assignment. It was utterly laughable. These guys had all kinds of technology on hand, and had the imprimatur of being scientific and scholarly, but their methodologies were absurd. They’d find cold spots and immediately ascribe them as possible paranormal activitity, when they were…

This is both really funny and profoundly sad.

The door for my office building doesn’t fully latch during business hours. So it sometimes get blown open on extremely windy days. One day while I was walking in, right as I approached the door it just blew open for me.  I felt like a witch.

I feel so bad for this person.

I was in bed, awake but still very sleepy, lying on my stomach, when my cat jumped on the bed and walked over my legs. I could feel and hear her. Then awoke a little more fully and I realized I’d moved out of my parents’ house 20 years ago and hadn’t had a cat in the time since. Conclusion: I have a ghost cat, which…

I know it’s Janice who keeps stealing my Tupperware containers.

I feel like this is a personal attack 

I had a devout Catholic friend who sincerely believed she’d be “rewarded” with fantastic sex if she waited until marriage. We tried to warn her, but her Catholic priest was no match. She told us the on her wedding night she’d be having non-stop orgasms and the next morning they wouldn’t be able to eat breakfast…

If you want a real chilling example of the LDS approach to gynecology, when I lived in California years ago there was a large Mormon community not too far away where many of the wives all went to the same LDS OBGYN. They were so ill-informed about what went on in a normal gyno visit and so lacking in fundamental…

You think she looks bad, has anyone taken a gander at Janice in accounting lately?!?  I know she don’t give a fuck, but c’mon Janice...you could at least run a brush through your hair!  And stop taking everyone’s yogurt!

The vagina doesn’t need to be stretched prior to first intercourse -- what it needs is to be excited and lubricated. I’m all for women (and men, and anyone) choosing to have penetrative sex for the first time by themselves with a safe and quality sex toy, but that should be about exploration and pleasure, not some…

Also, France, Germany, and the UK apparently do not have this new thing called “sun.”

This is obviously made up. Nearly every version of that woman (and her male counterpart) that I’ve worked with does not smile. Her spirit is broken, just like her body. Younger employees should look at her and see their futures.

It doesn’t matter. Go to the gym after work for an hour. Use the stairs every time. You’re still sitting in a chair for at least 6 hours a day. You’re still fucked. Unless the corporate overlords decide our workday is too long which...LOL.

Researchers built Emma based on an amalgamation of all the body gripes listed by office employees as a representation of what too much sitting and not enough milling about does to a body over a span of 20 years.