Do… do you need a hug?

"Are you experiencing any anal leakage?"

[Monarch Gary picks up phone] "Hello?"

Like any evil genius supervillain worth his salt, Think Tank knows that a certificate from the Evelyn Wood program is the true source of their power.

"Why didn't anyone tell me we could just hologram in!"

"You have eighty thousand hits!"

"That photo was taken shortly before I was shot in the back… which was very strange because it was during a Bob Hope show. I was trying to get Joey Heatherton to put on some pants, for God's sake."

"What are you, shy? Sasquatch doesn't have anything you haven't seen before."

Well he did give all those interns a craving for fruit pies last season. Partial credit?

"I'm not Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World. I don't really care about this."

"Pro: Completely silent washing machine.
Con: It's a washing machine."

"Just wait until the other villains see my Eggsac!"

Any episode with Jonas, Sr. and a quasi-villain 'crossing swords' to make the Venture symbol is solid gold in my book.

I heed not your 'Bro Code'!

[Haranguetan lies in bloody heap]

"Your lawyers inform me that it's technically slave labor."

He's gone mad with power, like that Albert Schweitzer guy!

Tad Strange and Oprah need to get together and make a show about bread.

Gotta get my ass to Oregon.

"If you guessed ABC Family, you are wrong. It was never a major television network."