"I spent 9 months in Japan shooting Samurai Iamarai. I fell in love with their culture, especially sharking. That’s when you run up to a lady on the streets and pull her tubetop down while your friend video tapes it. It’s considered a crime here. Thanks a lot, Puritans."

The most unlikely thing on the show so far was that they were rescued because Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne was somehow acting too weird for an Indiana Wal-Mart. Acting too weird for a Wal-Mart here is physically impossible.

D'Fwan forgot his catchphrase!

"Gonna be like a mouthful of sand. Dry. Like a desert."

"It's called Karate, man. Only two kinds of people know it, The Chinese and The King. And one of them is me." - Elvis Presley

"Finally, the song will have the accompaniment it always needed: the sound of you arrhythmically banging the top of your discount formica table, until your roommate asks if you plan on doing that the rest of the night."

I'm gonna get girl drink drunk in celebration!

Who the hell puts carpet in a kitchen?

"Will the last person to leave The Daily Show please turn off the lights? Thanks." - Comedy Central

[Jan-Michael Vincent opens another bottle of bourbon]

That was just a continuous loop of Les Cousins Dangereux.

"The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."

"Oh no, we've drawn Judge Schneider."
"Is that bad?"
"Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."
"You did?"
"Yeah…if you replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'."

“They put a permanent substitute in a high-school Spanish class who can’t speak Spanish at all. Here we are, with the Columbus public schools telling us what wonderful things (they) are doing.”

Look at him, getting off on being withholding.

Thousands of years ago, long before Sigourney Weaver…

Make that bitch your bitch, you bastard!

Marathons are truly the master race.

Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came here to see Honk If You're Horny in peace.

[Walks into theatre with a wheelbarrow full of tacos]
Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the Marvel marathon.