This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it, @Joey.blowey.

I know that you and Apple were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

"I thought you should know what your music does. It kills people. You made her happy, and it killed her. If Nate was alive this never would of happened."

This is true of almost everything Jeffrey Combs has been in.

Sponsored by Nationwide:

"I am altering the film. Pray I don't alter it any further." - Paul Feig

Yeah, I read the article too: "you can presumably expect U2’s new album to crawl into your bed in the middle of the night and start spooning you sometime next year."

Burt Reynolds is my spirit guide

"Computer, delete Songs Of Innocence."

Starring Donna Meagle.

This is going to be funny, but not 'ha-ha' funny.

I want there to be a competition between Jean-Ralphio Saperstein and Dickie Bennett over who can have the most ridiculous hair on TV.

♬El perro, el perro, es mi corazón,
El gato, el gato, el gato no es bueno.
Cilantro es cantante,
Cilantro es muy famoso,
Cilantro es el hombre con el queso del diablo.♬

The only advice my father ever gave me was this:

The bar is where the booze is, so good choice.

[Trips and falls while attempting to chew gum and answer at the same time]

The saddest part is that TBS doesn't even carry Cobb County Braves games anymore.

The AV Club

Flagged and Downvoted.

And Craig Kilborn readies his resume for submission yet again.

"Depp as Pee-Wee sounds frightening." FTFY