But what did your companions say?

It’s like if the rules for the board game Clue stated that the game ended when all of the facts (criminal, location, and weapon) were revealed, but you weren’t allowed to state them together in a declarative sentence. In fact, if you did, you’d be automatically disqualified and then publicly raked over the coals by a…

Don’t forget whataboutism. It ultimately falls down to white people and their deathly fear of having the word “racist” pinned on them, true or not. After all, actual, blatant racists were denying their racism.

I’m always reminded of the immortal character actor Jack Elam:

Option the third: Tell that bitch “Peeeeeeeace!” Now your wedding has 29 guests which means one less person to not really remember having spoken to even once the entire night.

Samer’s from Saudi Arabia but everyone thinks he’s Iraqi?

If Barstool Sports covered this their headline would be “Watch Two Asian Woman Battle Over a Cock”

Shitty memoir 0/10

SSgt Tucker Chad Lee: “YWNRU”

I was just about to write that the Bad QB Performance of the Week Award should probably be renamed the Colin Kaepernick Memorial Award because, you know, that’s what a lot of us are thinking.

If he pasted pictures of NFL defensive backs all over the cork, he’d probably start hitting the dart bortle.

At a certain point the NFL is just going to be the thing kids think of as a live action cosplay of Madden, right?

I’ve lived in NYC my entire life. When I was in my early twenties, I blacked out on the downtown “A” train. I came to at the 59th street stop, go off the train and staggered 3 blocks to the Roosevelt ER. The treating doctor ran some tests and then insisted that I only had the flu.

Without the long neck, their heads wouldn’t connect to their bodies. Their head would be way too far away.

bodegas mark up stuff a little more than the duane reade does; the duane reade, in turn, marks up stuff a little more than the grocery stores do; the grocery stores, in turn, generally have a higher mark-up than you’d see in grocery stores outside of the city. bodegas have smaller margins, so on a lot of things,…

UGH. As a city parent, I cannot overstate the importance of corner stores to healthy communities. Corner stores (we don’t really call them bodegas and the owners are usually Palestinian) serve as the grandmas for the neighborhood. The corner stores keep an eye out, and they sweep the sidewalk, and they lend you a…

How is this more convenient than a vending machine? You literally need to download a proprietary app before you use it.

wow, same here. My wife disappears for less than a minute, then claims to have fully voided.

“It was a staffing issue, and it was inadvertent, it was a mistake, it was not a deliberate action.”