I’m always reminded of the immortal character actor Jack Elam:

Option the third: Tell that bitch “Peeeeeeeace!” Now your wedding has 29 guests which means one less person to not really remember having spoken to even once the entire night.

Samer’s from Saudi Arabia but everyone thinks he’s Iraqi?

If Barstool Sports covered this their headline would be “Watch Two Asian Woman Battle Over a Cock”

Shitty memoir 0/10

SSgt Tucker Chad Lee: “YWNRU”

I was just about to write that the Bad QB Performance of the Week Award should probably be renamed the Colin Kaepernick Memorial Award because, you know, that’s what a lot of us are thinking.

If he pasted pictures of NFL defensive backs all over the cork, he’d probably start hitting the dart bortle.

At a certain point the NFL is just going to be the thing kids think of as a live action cosplay of Madden, right?

I’ve lived in NYC my entire life. When I was in my early twenties, I blacked out on the downtown “A” train. I came to at the 59th street stop, go off the train and staggered 3 blocks to the Roosevelt ER. The treating doctor ran some tests and then insisted that I only had the flu.

bodegas mark up stuff a little more than the duane reade does; the duane reade, in turn, marks up stuff a little more than the grocery stores do; the grocery stores, in turn, generally have a higher mark-up than you’d see in grocery stores outside of the city. bodegas have smaller margins, so on a lot of things,…

UGH. As a city parent, I cannot overstate the importance of corner stores to healthy communities. Corner stores (we don’t really call them bodegas and the owners are usually Palestinian) serve as the grandmas for the neighborhood. The corner stores keep an eye out, and they sweep the sidewalk, and they lend you a…

How is this more convenient than a vending machine? You literally need to download a proprietary app before you use it.

wow, same here. My wife disappears for less than a minute, then claims to have fully voided.

“It was a staffing issue, and it was inadvertent, it was a mistake, it was not a deliberate action.”

Can we permanently call it “The Why House”? now?

An overly caffeinated coked-up man in love with his own legend scotch bottle.

Let’s just clear one part of this story up right quick.

Bannon always looks like that monster from “The Thing” is right about to jump out of him.