We should try to get him in @okcthunder

He’s resigned himself to trivial truths as he’s never going to be known for solid fibs.

+1

[taken]

He’s been scarred by things that tick quickly ever since the 2014 semifinal.

“So, bolt on or off?”
“Let’s go with on.”

Tarp man tarp what?

A British postman in the Netherlands is angry about the Tour de France? That’s the last straw, Greece.

Well, at least he shows up on a camera phone.

He’ll have plenty of time in jail to....

We’re very disappointed in these results.

They should probably stick to free kicks. When was the last time throwing a ball has worked for a Viking?

On a scale of Jay Cutler to Dwight Howard, how exciting is it being in a union?

Sixers GM: [reads story]
Sixers GM: [stares blankly into distance]
Sixers GM: [puts in order for 10,000 tank-tops]

And here’s another.

He meant to site the Onion Bag but he couldn’t help take a 50% cut.

+1

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever disagreed with anything you said, Barry Petchesky.

Ohhh it was a compliment.

This will be one of several “Little Donkey Attacks Old Lady” headlines in southern Italy tomorrow.