The luckiest sides here are Bayern and Juventus, since they've drawn by far the two weakest clubs still in it.

"Maybe because of diets, and maybe because of the quality of produce we are eating."

Impressive, but not as vicious as that time a man crossed over so hard the whole city felt it.

+1

Eh, not even the worst thing they got wrong about him.

An Irishman drowning his sorrows in a drink? Well I'll be damned.

"It's really minimalistic" is also the worst way to get Marshawn Lynch to buy a shirt.

A desolate Pete Carroll consoled himself by spending a day at the Bosphorus.

Pf, the Confederations Cup in a desert nation...Fahad Al Saud must be rolling in his grave.

Huh. I just assumed the ball was a bed and his celebration was foreshadowing.

[drops it like it's hot]
[drops it like it's hot]
[drops it like it's hot]
[is benched]

There are four legends concerning Carmelo Anthony.

This turned out better than that time Simba helped Derrick Rose with his dunk.

Weirdly, AC/DC rectified the error themselves.

All the talent on the field, and what saves them? Ten minutes of route-1 football to Fellaini. That is why they have van Gaal.

Anyone know what the implications of "speaking with an accent" are?

Can't blame him. Who the hell associates Westbrook with "dapper"?

Meanwhile, Julian Edelman, just back from a three-hour jog in the rain, has poured himself a bowl of gravel to enjoy in his empty kitchen.

Looks like the driver was a little...

This is Utah's new offensive scheme where the driving player gently reminds the defender that Shaq is getting his own sitcom, upon which he starts spasming uncontrollably.