“University of Chicago, which was actually a football powerhouse ages ago. U-Chicago grad students are just as snobby as Harvard kids, only they don’t get the press.”

Where do you buy your vibrators and do they have a website?

Now I want them to throw in a scene where his hand starts vibrating during a meeting and he has to apologize as he turns it off.

Coulson’s love life includes a robot hand.

Well you figure that army is typically land-based infantry and machinery. However, what’s at the bottom of the ocean? That’s right, more land.

Should have trolled the Germans & moved the team to Dresden.

Well, maybe, but my browser doesn't show subtitles.

They are big, black, and pretty deadly.

So that’s why dogs are always sniffing anises.

You mean “Trench-warfare”?

If you need to leave a boring business meeting, shit your pants. #lifehack

Whoa, thanks for the tip! She def. has that “big haired, blonde bimbo/bombshell” archetype down to a science, but I scouted her out a little bit on IMDB, and she’s so much more! She’s the badass girl who beats the crap out of Keanu while butt-naked in Point Break, fought The Rock in Scorpion King, and actually killed…

It’ll buff out.

Adorbs!